This Album Should Not Exist

by Todesstrahlen

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1.	Supplica a mia madre - A poem by Pier Paolo Pasolini 03:16	lyrics	buy track
È difficile dire con parole di figlio ciò a cui nel cuore ben poco assomiglio. Tu sei la sola al mondo che sa, del mio cuore, ciò che è stato sempre, prima d’ogni altro amore. Per questo devo dirti ciò ch’è orrendo conoscere: è dentro la tua grazia che nasce la mia angoscia. Sei insostituibile. Per questo è dannata alla solitudine la vita che mi hai data. E non voglio esser solo. Ho un’infinita fame d’amore, dell’amore di corpi senza anima. Perché l’anima è in te, sei tu, ma tu sei mia madre e il tuo amore è la mia schiavitù: ho passato l’infanzia schiavo di questo senso alto, irrimediabile, di un impegno immenso. Era l’unico modo per sentire la vita, l’unica tinta, l’unica forma: ora è finita. Sopravviviamo: ed è la confusione di una vita rinata fuori dalla ragione. Ti supplico, ah, ti supplico: non voler morire. Sono qui, solo, con te, in un futuro aprile…
2.	In the abyss 03:20	lyrics	buy track
Dilated pupils, I observe the white of my eyes I get lost in the abyss I get lost In the abyss uh! it's disarming it's disarming it's disarming it's disarming Dilated pupils, I erase my time I modify the space around my lies I get lost in the abyss I get lost in the abyss ah! it's contracting it's contracting it's contracting I emphasize my routine I erase my time it's exciting it's exciting it's exciting it's exciting
3.	Almost dedicated (to Enea) 03:00	lyrics	buy track
Arrived at my age I think I lived many lost lives And in every life, one love and sometimes more than one And every love stronger than the one before Now that I'm still alive now as long as I'm still alive a huge ended love it has generated an endless love
4.	Love like drugs 02:33	lyrics	buy track
I spin you spin I spin around I spin you spin out of control Love like drugs Blood like love drugs like love blood likes love oh no, again it happened again
5.	All the beauty is forever 04:14	lyrics	buy track
And we should never waste our time. When we are distracted by a beautiful sunny day. And we think all the beauty is forever. And safe. You were everything, I had you beside me and I didn't understand it in time. I'll go on some see vacation soon or later. Everything is fine.
6.	Not with my help 04:21	lyrics	buy track
I want to see your new buildings collapsing I want to see your big lies falling down and I want to see, you killing yourself (for the fail) I'm not going to help you to fuck up my life I'm not going to help you to fuck up people's brains not with my help, not with help I want to see your new buildings collapsing I'm not going to help you to fuck up my life not with my help, not with help
7.	A defeat 03:10	lyrics	buy track
I’m like those trees Dead On the river side Old Only bark and empty inside Without life
8.	L'ecume des jours (based on the book by Boris Vian) 05:46		buy track
9.	- (Tired to be tired) 07:34	lyrics	buy track
and while I'm walking tired to be tired with my head down I’m obsessed by of all the shattered hopes of all the love burned and these stabs soon or later will end their torture and this nightmare someday luckily will end it will end with me

about

About this album which should not exist:

This album should not exist because has been made during a very difficult time for the band members due to many deep personal reasons. However, instead of collapsing, Todesstrahlen found different strengths and inspirations to take advantage of their collapsing life to develop a different way for their new work. Each member of the band had his own point of view, “colour” or “philosophy “ behind the recording sessions. For instance, the one suggested by Guido, inspired by the M. Gondry’s movie “L'Ecume des jours”, is a colourful beginning followed by a deep black ending without any hope. This is the album which should not exist: a slow fall to hell, into the abyss without any hope to get out. And we love it.

In this work, one can find many different sources of inspirations: starting from a Pasolini’s poem, the album continues with a disenchanted Berliner life style, an industrial samba, some harsh guitar noise, some psychedelic echoes, and finishes with a funeral march and horror movie sounds.

Todesstrahlen did not abandon their industrial and experimental nature, by keeping using unconventional tools like drills, flex grinders and hammers. Additional experimentation has been made for this work by the unconventional use of classical instruments as mandolin, violin or maracas. In addition, a new concept of musical instrument has been build: an analogue resonator, which makes vibrating scrap metalware.

Also the lyrics have a different weight compared to the previous works: from the disillusioned and ironic lyrics, to deeper, introvert and violent statements against themselves, love, society and consumerism.

As it has been always a constant in Todesstrahlen works, this album wants to be a picture of what the band members experienced during and just before the recording sessions: a story which starts with unbelievable hope, warm feelings, good changes, but slowly turning into a disenchanted hopeless sadness.

The entire album, which should not exist, has been recorded and produced by Todesstrahlen in a total “do it yourself” way in a small room of a collapsing Soviet building in East Berlin, Allee der Kosmonauten 24.

credits

released June 2, 2021

Grid Noise Ema: guitars, voice, resonator, percussions, violin, Moog keyboard, industrial elements, recording and mixing.
Grga dorigovic: bass guitar, guitar, mandolin, voice, chorus, loop station, violin, industrial elements, metal scrap, percussions, maracas.
Glauco: drums, percussions, industrial elements, metal scrap.
Andrea: voice in “in the abyss “, GAIA keyboards in “All the beauty is forever”, industrial elements, percussions in “L’ecume des jours”.

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Todesstrahlen Berlin, Germany

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